Day 14...Taking Inventory

March 27, 2008
Weight: 241
Walk: About 2 miles, 33’28”
Location: Home - Neighborhood

Taking inventory…I brought up this topic in a meeting earlier this week and one thing that stuck with me was that when taking inventory don’t forget the good things. I tried to keep this in mind as I walked today.

I had to go to the bank to deposit a check so when I had a break from work I decided to make this my walk and take the scenic route. It is another cloudy, dreary day but not too cold. It is a very confusing time of year. You can hear the birds singing, but still feel the need to bundle up…I can only imagine how those poor birds feel!

So during my walk I started to think about my inventory. I thought about what I hope my life to look like and then what attributes do I currently possess. Some of these are there, but either not fully developed or had been buried under the blanket of fear, anger and resentment. Compassion for example. I know that have the ability to be compassionate, loving, honest, giving, caring, helpful and faithful. All of these attributes lay inside of me and make an appearance from time to time…that’s how I know they are there! The problem is that they have been trumped by fear, anger, resentment, self desire, obsession and distrust.

Of all of these things I have determined that the most critical is my ability to have faith and to trust in that faith. This is something I have now honestly started to develop and it had already made a world of difference. Having an understanding that I can believe in and trust in something other than myself has been a major awakening and has allowed me to open the door to a sense of compassion greater than I have ever know. I’m able to look beyond myself and see the pain in others and sympathize with that rather than just harboring a resentment that they are not acting the way I want them to. I can already see the difference in how I relate to my wife and children. This is something that has been missing in my life. I feel like I have had holes and cracks that this faith is starting to fill in. I guess I hope that by continuing to build this faith I will eventually become whole and have the ability to see who I really am and what my true potential as a person is.

What a great felling this is. Now time to work on my inventory more and not forget to keep in mind all of the other good qualities that doing this will start to release. Onward I go!